


First Realizations

by BlueEyedMrsBaelish



Series: James Westerling/Robb Stark [7]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based on Elton's first kiss in Rocketman, Bye Bye Birdie mention, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Fluff, Gay Pride, Genderbending, M/M, Mostly focused on James, Pride Parades, School Play, Taron Egerton as James, bi pride, pride month, richard madden as robb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 20:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20551985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueEyedMrsBaelish/pseuds/BlueEyedMrsBaelish
Summary: As memories flood his mind James can think of two instances in which he realized that he was, indeed, not interested in women. The first wasn’t really specific - it was more that he never understood why he was asked if he had a girlfriend at school, or if he thought that any of the girls were cute. James never noticed the girls; he often hung out with the boys and found any crushes he had to be on one of them. He never vocalized this, though.The second was back in sophomore year in high school.





	First Realizations

**Author's Note:**

> I probably should have posted this one earlier but it doesn't really matter. Either way, I wrote this during Pride Month and I'm still super happy with it! I hope you enjoy! :) <3

𝑻𝑶𝑫𝑨𝒀 - 𝑱𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑺 & 𝑹𝑶𝑩𝑩'𝑺 𝑨𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻

James watches as Robb sleeps soundly next to him, taking in the sight before him. His boyfriend's chest slowly rises and falls with each breath, eyelashes fluttering in his sleep, pouty lips full and slightly parted. He looks so at peace, and James can’t help but gently caress his face, ever so lightly moving loose curls out of his eyes. His boyfriend looks so happy, so peaceful, and as he watches him smile in his sleep he thinks back to the day they’d just had.

They’d awoken and had breakfast before getting ready for an event neither had gone to before but were excited to finally experience - the local Pride Parade. It was Pride month, and this was the first time James or Robb had ever gone to any of these types of events. They had been excited to experience it not only for the first time in general, but together as a couple.

What an experience it was.

They had been invited into the fold instantly, and James had accepted an offer by a vendor to paint a small rainbow flag on his cheek. He must have looked excited, because Robb was grinning from ear to ear - a look he wore when he saw James in a moment of pure happiness. And boy, was he happy.

They spent the parade holding hands and chatting with random people, a couple of which had recognized both him and Robb from his online show. They took selfies and gave out hugs, and being around people who were so happy and open about themselves gave both men so much energy. They found themselves kissing without a care, wrapped up in each other’s arms as people cheered. It was odd to be this open, but fuck did it feel /liberating/.

One girl had asked James a question that had stuck with him, one he had been thinking about for the entirety of the evening.

“When did you realize you were gay?”

Well, not /one/ girl - this seemed to be a popular question. It differed from person to person (gay, bi, trans, pan, a lesbian, etc) but James found himself unsure. When /did/ he know? He didn’t let his uncertainty show, however, and gave the same answer every time, one that always elicited either a laugh or a whoop.

“From the first time I saw George Michael.”

As memories flood his mind James can think of two instances in which he realized that he was, indeed, not interested in women. The first wasn’t really specific - it was more that he never understood why he was asked if he had a girlfriend at school, or if he thought that any of the girls were cute. James never noticed the girls; he often hung out with the boys and found any crushes he had to be on one of them. He never vocalized this, though.

The second was back in sophomore year in high school.

\--

𝑯𝑰𝑮𝑯 𝑺𝑪𝑯𝑶𝑶𝑳 - 𝑺𝑶𝑷𝑯𝑶𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑹

Two weeks. It was only /two weeks/ until the play, and James was struggling with some of the more difficult speaking lines. He had stayed after school almost every day for the past week, to the point that his mom was threatening to make him stay there. Thank the Seven that his brother Raynald stayed later most days and would drive him home.

The musical they were putting on was Bye Bye Birdie, one that every school does at LEAST once. James had gotten the role of Hugo Peabody, one of the four main characters, and while he had the singing and dancing scenes nailed down he was struggling /hard/ with a couple of the speaking lines.

“What's so important? I'll tell you what's so important! The day after I give her my pin she goes round and kisses someone else, that's what's so important! I want…”

His brow furrows as he goes blank again. “Fuck!”

“Need some help?”

The sudden voice makes him jump, turning around with slightly wider eyes than usual. He sees Jon Bettley standing there, the play’s Conrad Birdie himself. “Jesus Christ, you scared me, Jon.” He sighs, trying to come up with any excuse to say no, he doesn’t need help, not everyone can act as well as Jon can, but he’s got nothing.

Jon chuckles, combing a hand through his thick black hair. He definitely looks the part, there’s no denying that, which is definitely the only reason why James is blushing, right? “Look, I know what it’s like to have a hard time with lines. I can give you some mental exercises to help if you want, and I’ll run lines with you too.”

James blinks, confused. Jon had never given him the time of day before. He was never mean or hostile, but this just read as odd. “No offense, but… Why are you offering to help me? Not that I’m not grateful, I’m just… confused.”

Beat. “Honestly? I’m… not great with talking. I’d rather have a script in front of me that I can lose myself in than chat with someone. So I don’t know.” He shrugs and sighs, and James immediately feels bad. “I’ve been watching you in class, you know. Like, your acting and singing. You’re insanely talented, you just need to get out of your head when it comes to the lines. I think that’ll help you to relax and nail the rest of it.”

Okay, James is full on blushing now. One of the cutest guys he’s met thinks he’s talented? Fuck. “I’m sorry, I… I would love some help. Whatever you have, I'll take it.”

\--

James and Jon started hanging out almost every day after school, rehearsing lines and going over some of the routines. Jon had taught him some pretty basic mental exercises when it came to especially difficult lines, and the one he had been struggling with the most he finally managed to get down, with a week left to spare.

Finally, the big weekend comes. James closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths, counting each inhale and exhale. It was a centering exercise that had definitely helped him immensely, thanks to Jon. When his eyes open he sees Jon leaning on a set a few feet away from him, giving him the Conrad Birdie grin that made his knees weak.

“I see you’re sticking with the exercises.”

A chuckles emits from James, clearly nervous. “It helps a lot. You’ve helped a lot. Thank you.”

“No, thank /you/.”

James is about to ask why he’s being thanked when Jon walks over and takes his shoulders, pushing him gently against the set and making sure no one’s looking before kissing him on the lips. It’s short and gentle, yet it takes James’s breath away all the same.

𝘋𝘪𝘥... 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘑𝘰𝘯 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘦? 𝘔𝘌?

𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘑𝘰𝘯 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘺?

Jon pulls away, a smile on his lips as the music starts. He whispers “have a good show” before walking away, leaving James in a temporary state of confused euphoria. That goes away after a few seconds as he’s rushed back to the side stage, waiting to go on, trying to hide the smile and giddy excitement rushing through his veins.

\--

All three shows go over rather well, surprisingly so. When there’s an audience in front of him it’s almost as if his nerves melt away, and he feeds off of the attention of hundreds of eyes watching him. The small mental reminders Jon had given him definitely did help and he was able to nail each line. Oh, what a rush.

Not as much of a rush as that kiss, though.

Unfortunately for James, that was the last time he’d see him. The older boy moved away later that week without a word, and to say James was confused and hurt was an understatement.

Confused, mainly because he didn’t know what this all meant. He had been kissed by a boy and liked it, that much he did know. Was he gay? He couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever had a crush on a girl…

It would confuse James for years. He didn’t realize until he was older and chatting with Margaery Tyrell one day when sexuality had come up casually. James let himself think about that weekend, the past, and everything in between and he’d been able to come to the realization that he was, in fact, gay.

A realization that would bring him some of his happiest moments in life - his life with Robb, for one - and some of his most painful. Not by his own fault, of course. But having a homophobic mother is something he can’t control, and some of the things she said to him haunted him well into adulthood.

Thankfully, the support of his friends and the rest of his family got him through.

\--

𝑻𝑶𝑫𝑨𝒀 - 𝑱𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑺 & 𝑹𝑶𝑩𝑩'𝑺 𝑨𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻

“Baby?”

The sound of Robb’s sleepy voice pulls James out of his trip down memory lane, and he looks down to see his boyfriend gazing at him with half lidded eyes. He’s so goddamn beautiful.

“Yes, love?”

“C’mere.” He waves his arm, motioning for James to curl up into him, which he does. Robb turns to spoon him, and James smiles as he’s cuddled up safe and sound in his boyfriend’s arms. Cuddling with Robb when they were still just friends had been fun, but it was nothing compared to this. “I had fun today.”

“Me too, baby. It was nice to be out with you.”

“Mhmm.” Robb mumbles and sleepily nuzzles James’s neck. “Love you. Happy Pride.”

James smiles, feeling fully content and properly loved. “I love you too. Happy Pride, darling.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ngl, Elton's first kiss during the Breaking Down the Walls of Sorrow scene is one of my favorite moments in the movie. It's so soft and cute and ADORABLE so I wanted to bring that feeling over! It's also canon that James never had an official boyfriend before Robb so I wanted to make it cute but not angsty when Jon leaves.
> 
> Please leave kudos if you liked it and feel free to comment! <3


End file.
